I Drank The Cool-Aid

I am an avid reader of Huff Post Weddings. If you are a wedding junkie you definitely should follow them on Twitter. If nothing else, they have great articles with really interesting perspectives on weddings, and planning them. In reading through their articles one night, I came across an article that made me kind of sad, and made me realize I have jumped on the wedding band-wagon.

The article was written by a young lady who eloped. You can read the whole article here. Elopement can be wonderful, certainly fewer headaches than wedding planning. But she was very critical of brides who want to have a wedding, of any kind. She believes that weddings are more pageant than sincerity. My first reaction was anger. I think any bride planning a “pageant” would be angry. But then I thought, “Is she right?”

If you are planning a wedding, no doubt you have read many wedding blogs (including mine!). You probably have racked up quite a wedding pin board too. I think it’s how girls get excited about weddings. We’re dreamers and planners, we see what maybe no one else does. But you may have noticed that the wedding websites, the pins, they start to look all the same. Lots of DIY, gorgeous barn, after gorgeous barn, thirty thousand different ways to style a mason jar, and so help me, I LOVE all of it! So maybe I did drink the cool-aid, but WHY is it wrong? Why did I let this article make me feel like it was wrong.

It made some good points, weddings cost so much for one day, it can become less about the two of you and more about the planning of the event, it takes a lot of time to plan, time that can be spent doing other things. It just seems so cynical. Don’t we have enough cynicism in this world to believe that every woman who wants to throw a party for her wedding only cares about tulle, the fit of a dress, and whether the cake has just the right flowers. Can’t a woman just want to gather together friends and family to witness the love that you both have as a couple?

The details, the crafts, the things that I’ve seen in other weddings that I have fallen in love with, are only to make the day more beautiful, but if it all fell apart, at the end of the day, I am going to remember my family’s faces while I marry the love of my life.

So yes, I am making most of my own decorations, I love bunting, and ribbon and barns but I am also a girl who loves her fiance, and wants to share that love on our wedding day. It is about us. But I am going to take away from that article, that it can become like that. Maybe she had to elope because, for her, she knew it would become like that.

There will always be people who are cynical, the most important thing is to keep your love front and center, have the biggest wedding you want, but make it about love! 🙂

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7 thoughts on “I Drank The Cool-Aid

  1. Spending so much time, money and love in preparing for a wedding has many inconspicuous benefits. For me, I got to know him better, even after having spent more than 9 years together. We actually spent time to look through our finances and make expensive decisions together. We debated and decided. When my wedding planner asked, “What does ‘fun’ mean at your wedding?” He exclaimed, “When my guests get to play Playstation!” I was shocked. But I really loved how delighted he looked. And although gaming is not my thing, I’m willing to go with that crazy idea. He can be quite pragmatic at times, but he’s enjoying this wedding preparation and he’s looking forward to the big day. 🙂

    • That’s so awesome that Playstation will be incorporated in your wedding! I can’t wait till we get down to the smaller details so my fiance will really feel involved, we aren’t quite there yet, but I wish we were!

  2. I eloped. I loved the day, but I did miss my family. Having said that, why in the world would I begrudge someone who wants something different than me for their wedding day? What’s wrong with a little pageantry? You gotta do what works for you, man. It’s “Your Day,” after all.

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