I have to start by saying that I am a very anal retentive person. I get up at the same time, I eat at specific times, exercise at the same time every day. I am pretty sure I inherited this from my father. Everyday has a specific calendar of events that must be followed at the same time everyday or maybe the universe will be thrown off kilter, I don’t know, I’ve never really deviated from the schedule. This trait has been a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it makes me very goal oriented. I am able to set realistic goals for myself and, so far, I’ve achieved them all. On the other hand, I lack spontaneity, and the ability to be totally flexible with my time. Now before you all start calling me clinical names. It’s certainly not to that point. I can be off “the schedule” and not have it really disrupt my life at all. It’s more something I like to do than anything.
So there, I’m anal retentive. Now you know. Apparently this trait shines through when I am not even realizing it. I happened to be at work and casually perusing a wedding site (yes I am addicted, but there are so many beautiful things out there!), and my co-worker jokingly called me a “bridezilla” (shudder). It sparked me to ask if he seriously thought I would be a bridezilla. Suffice it to say there was a lot of dodging the question…so of course that led me to ask others, more dodging. Uh-oh. Am I really going to be a bridezilla?
This all led to a heart to heart with my mom. Am I still the only adult that calls their mom all the time? And so the truth comes out. People think, apparently because I am very firm on my ideas and my vision (firm, or stubborn, whatever), I may not be open to hearing others’ concerns or ideas, making me seem like a control freak. I was actually relieved to hear this, because the bridezillas I was thinking of were from that TV show, where nasty evil women scream at their family, demand money from their fiance, and threaten the lives of vendors if they don’t get their way. That is not me, and I was hurt to think that people might feel that way. But apparently they just think I am going to be annoyingly detail oriented and incredibly stubborn.
Lesson learned family and friends, I promise, from here on out to be open to hearing others’ opinions and ideas as well as being as relaxed as possible the day of. No one shall be yelled at or blamed if things do not go according to planned. This I pledge to you.
So how can YOU avoid the bridezilla fate?
1) Talk to your mom, close friend or family member that knows you well and will be honest with you. I’m serious! They can tell you the qualities you may (or may not) possess that could turn you into a nasty demon. And then you can take steps to avoid that.
2) Be nice. It’s true. When your family members are driving you up the wall about the guest list, or when your vendors are late, or your hair doesn’t come out exactly how you pictured, be nice. Yes, you should be honest in your feelings but encase those feelings of rage in a nice bubble. My mom always tells me, “You get more flies with honey than vinegar.” (why you would want flies is beyond me, but besides the point). Instead of yelling, explain what your wishes are nicely, start the sentence with “I feel…” People will be more apt to listen to you that way.
3) What’s your stress release? Find out and do that! Massages, running, listening to music, maybe zoning out in front of the TV. When things are getting bad, go and do what makes you forget, that way, you can come back and approach it fresh with new eyes and a new attitude.
Here’s a REAL bridezilla:
If I turn out like this chick, just knock me on the head, I probably will deserve it! Also, if you haven’t, check out the show Bridezillas on WE tv, it is pretty hilarious and you will really get some tips on what NOT to do!